Have mercy, Master W.

I'm just a lowly shoelace. I don't deserve to be eaten. I swear I don't taste very good!

This just isn't right.

I should be at the beach right now, not scraping dry dirt in a front yard planter. Building sandcastles and digging for shells is much more my speed.

I know just what you're thinking.

Wouldn't it be nice if Snow White came to our house to cook and clean for us?

She loved the bean burrito that came in this bag.

She put me in the kids meal bag after she ate the burrito.

Either she loves me as much as she loves burritos or she's planning to eat me. Let's hope she's not hungry for dessert.

We've got a date with the juicer.

It's probably going to be rather painful... but we're helping Miss C. make some wonderful summer memories so it'll be well worth it.

What could be sweeter than homemade lemonade on a hot day?

I don't want to look.

A few moments ago she almost sent me hurling off the top of the play structure. Hiding is good. Then at least I won't see what "fun" lies ahead.

You okay there, Kermit?

You don't look so good, man.

Next time make sure she sits you up before she sends you down. Then you'll slide rather than roll down the slide.

I'm no ordinary baby bottle.

You wouldn't know it just by looking at me, but I've got all kinds of hidden skills.

I've been a soap bottle, a tea time juice dispenser and even a bottle of medicine for sick bears.

I like to think of myself as the Swiss Army Knife of toys, the ultimate toddler multi-tool.

Uncle! Uncle!

You win! I swear, I'll never make fun of your sweeping skills again!

Just please, please stop stomping on me!

Only moments ago...

... I was sitting on this stick, minding my own business. Now I'm in the hand of a giant toddler. And I'm terrified of heights.

Help!