This is not how I envisioned my life.

I'm a sand bucket, not a drum kit.

I should be at a peaceful beach right now, helping Miss C. build sandcastles. Instead, I'm taking a beating at the hands of Master W. who seems to have taken lessons from Animal.

Stop pushing, Yellow!

You'll get your turn later.

She's going to pick me first, anyway. Pink is her favorite color, you know.

Help!

This... really... hurts...

Your free gift...

... compliments of "My Hotel".

Thanks for staying with us. Come again!

Welcome to "My Hotel"

Miss C. will be your concierge, bell hop, waitress and housekeeper. She has prepped your room, turned down the bed and... eaten... the mints on your pillow.

We hope you enjoy your stay!

Now look what you've done.

I told you to stick to the main track, but noooooooooo. You just had to take that "shortcut", didn't you?

Help!

I tried hiding, but Miss C. found me and bagged me as her latest "gift". I feel like one of those pitiful bagged carnival prizes.

Can't... breathe...

... must... conserve... oxygen...

It doesn't have to be this way!

C'mon, Miss C. We can talk this out.

Violence is never the answer!

You're Soooooo Vain...

... I bet you think this song is about you....

They call this an I-Spy Bag.

All "I spy" is an innocent guy getting crushed by a giant bag of rice.

Where's a super hero action figure when you need him? I swear I saw Spider-Man around here somewhere the other day...

She's crazy about me.

What can I say? I'm simply irresistible.

I may be an ordinary train to the rest of the world, but to her I'm a rock star.

Dude!

Did you listen to anything I told you yesterday?

Hands and hot grills don't mix. Got it?

Wait! Wait!

Didn't Miss C. teach you anything about kitchen safety?

Never, ever turn on a burner without a saucepan or frying pan in place first!

Ummmmm....

Could somebody turn me over? I'm kinda stuck.

Ummmmm...

This is the strangest beans and rice dinner I've ever seen. Are you sure Miss C. knows what she's doing in the kitchen?

So much for my perfect driving record.

It's not like the accident was my fault, you know. If Mrs. Peterson's dog hadn't run out into the street right after my last drop-off my bus would still be in one piece.

I just know my insurance is going to go up. This stinks.

The double face plant is always preferable to the single.

Why?

Misery loves company, I guess.

It's dark under here...

...and the dust bunnies look decidedly unfriendly. I sure hope Miss C. comes back soon.

Don't you know who I am?

I'm not just some nameless, faceless toy. Okay, so I may be faceless... but it wasn't always this way! I was once a beautiful princess, one of Miss C.'s favorite "babies".

Now the only person who wants to play with me is Master W. And I think the term "play" is stretching things a bit. These days I'm just a chew toy in a fancy ball gown.

Oh, well. At least somebody still wants to play with me.

This hotel has got everything!

Snacks, table and chairs, a comfy couch and even a fully-stocked library. Miss C. really pulled out all the stops when designing this place.

I never thought I'd wish to be a board book.

Around here you've got to be tough if you're going to withstand Master W.'s fists of fury. Just the other day I watched him tear apart The Runaway Bunny's book jacket. I just pray I'm not next on his hit list.

Man, I hate laundry day.

Miss C. always forgets to pull her stuff out of the washer.

It's been way too long.

I've been feeling a little lonely ever since Miss C. ditched me for her mama's real vacuum. Then Master W. spotted me and I've been cruising the hardwoods again.

Man, it sure feels good to be loved again.

Frog legs taste terrible, honest!

And I'm not just saying that because you've got one of mine in your fist. They're really rather gamey and there just isn't enough meat on them to make it worth your while.

He's on a mission.

A seek-and-destroy mission, if you ask me. I was almost finished baking Miss C.'s berry pie when Master W. came along. Now all of the eggs are broken, the cookies have crumbled and the pie is oozing berry goo into my drawer.

Thanks, Mr. Grabby Hands.

Don't ask me.

I have no idea what she was thinking when she put me in this shoe.

I agree, it's not the most glamorous way to travel.

But let me assure you, dangling precariously from the back of a suitcase lends a certain amount of excitement to the hotel stay. I'm definitely living dangerously!

My career is really taking off.

Miss C. gave me a promotion this week. I  used to be an ordinary building block, but now I'm a steam iron at her sewing table. This is going to look fantastic on my resume.

From grand castle...

...to boiled noodles. I'm completely mortified.

Stop pushing me!

I was using it first!