I feel so broken.

Christmas was only a few days ago and Master W. already pried my lid off.

What good is a lunch box without a lid?

*Sigh*

Happy birthday to me.

Happy birthday to me.

Happy biiiiirthdaaaaay Daaaaaarth Maaaaaauuuuullllll...

Happy birthday to me!

Don't mess with me.

I've got Miss C.'s lightsaber. And I'm not afraid to use it.

Does the 10 second rule apply...

... to felt cookies?

I sure hope so. I can't tell you how many times I've been dropped on the floor.

Check out my hair!

Do you think Miss C. has a future as a stylist?

I'm a lion, not a fashion plate.

And I most definitely do not do cowls.

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born.

He is Christ the Lord... You will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.

Silent night. Holy night.

All is calm.

All is bright.

Life is short.

It's winter, so my life is at an end. All summer, I watched Miss C. play under the shade I made just for her. Fall came, and I could feel the changes in the air, and see my coloring change from green to red. The end was near.

I dropped off my tree yesterday, and sadly lay on the sidewalk thinking that this was it. But then Miss C. came bursting out of the house today and I knew I had one more chance. She raked me and all the other leaves from my tree into a tiny pile, got a running start and took a 3-year-old sized leap onto the pile.

I'm off to the green waste bin, but I don't mind so much. Miss C. made it all worthwhile.

Look what Miss C.'s mama made for me!

A bear-sized hooded towel to match the robe she made for Miss C. It's so soft and fluffy... bath time will never be the same.

This isn't going to end well.

Small animals + airtight lunch box = disaster.

C'mon everybody. Let's get out of here before she finds the lid to this thing.

Urban legend, schmurban legend.

You thought the rumors about guys like me lurking in the sewers were the stuff of urban legend...

Well, I'm here to tell you it's all true. Better watch out!

And now Miss C....

... we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel base.

One... two... three...

Four...

Five...

Six...

Seven...

Eight...

Nine...

Ten!

Ready or not, here I come!

I wonder what would happen...

... if I pulled this lever...

Should we find out?

No! Noooooo!

Please don't push me over the edge! I'm just a lowly domino. I've done nothing to you!

I saw that!

Don't think you can hide from me, Miss C.!

I saw what you were up to and I'm going to have to put it in my report for Santa.

Don't worry, though, I've also got some notes about you helping your mama with the laundry today. When all is said and done, you'll still be on the "Nice" list.

Hey, back up!

No cutting!

She told me I could be first in line for story time. You're just going to have to wait your turn, Red Ranger.

She dropped me like a hot potato...

... when she spotted all those fancy books and new toys on the shelves. Good thing her mama spotted me, otherwise I could have ended up in the lost and found bin.

*Shudder*

It was a dark and stormy night.

The fog was beginning to roll in, cloaking Castle MegaBlok in its gloomy atmosphere...

Not bad, for a first attempt.

All she had to work with was a box of baby toys. I look pretty festive, if I do say so myself.

Who knows, maybe Miss C. has a future as a professional Christmas tree decorator.

Did we get everything on the list?

Hmmmm... let's see...

Raisins? Check.
Peanut butter? Check.
Honey? Check.
Enchilada sauce? Check.
Olives? Check.
Bananas? Sorry, George. You know Miss C. isn't a big fan of bananas.

Maybe next time, buddy.

Look, over there!

Bananas!

Can we get some?

Pleeeeeease?

Someone must have spiked my coffee.

Either that, or I'm in the middle of a really strange dream.

I was flying my plane, minding my own business when... BAM!... I was knocked out cold. When I came to, I was lying here in this giant sink.

This is just waaaay to weird to be real.

Can somebody call for ambulance?

I think I may have broken a bone or two... or maybe 20... when she dropped me.

She said she had her pilot's license.

I think she was lying. We didn't even make it to cruising altitude before she crashed me. 

Next time, I'm demanding a certified copy of the license and at least two forms of identification.

Cut it out, Monkey!

If you don't stop wiggling, I'm going to fall right out of this chair!

This is more my speed.

After the beating I took a few minutes ago, I could use some meditative yard work.

Two against one...

... this hardly seems like a fair fight!

I sense something, a presence I've not felt since...

Oops. Never-mind.

It's just yogurt, not Yoda.

Ding... dong.

Ding... dong.
Ding... dong.
Ding... dong.
Ding... dong.
Ding... dong.
Ding... dong.
Ding... dong.

I sure hope she checked for freezer burn.

I've been in the play kitchen freezer ever since Miss C.'s mama was a little girl.

I thought meat was only good for a few months in the freezer... not 28 years. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

*Shudder*

Thank you for shopping at Master W.'s!

Please return your carts here.

Almost there.

It won't be long before Master W. and I are walking.

And then... look out world!

I think I'll have the bean burrito.

What are you going to order?

It's cold and rainy outside...

... but it's nice and toasty here in Miss C.'s jacket.

Isn't she thoughtful?

Didn't see that one coming.

Guess I should have looked both ways before crossing the street.

I miss the old days.

Miss C. and I used to cruise the store in the top of the cart. We'd check out the fruit, help her mama put stuff in the cart and snack on a cookie from the bakery. Now I'm stuck down here at the bottom of the basket.

*Snif*

The National Enquirer is going to love this.

I can see the headline now: "School bus crushed by giant vacuum cleaner!"

Sure they'll interview me for the article, but who's going to believe a lowly bus driver? And yeah, there's a photo to back me up but these days everyone's a skeptic. They'll probably think it's a fake, like those UFO photos you see in the grocery store tabloids.

Not that I would know anything about that. I don't read the tabloids.

Really, I don't.

Trick-or-treat!

I sure hope the neighbors aren't handing out Tootsie Rolls or Smarties tonight. Those are the worst!

I'm new here.

Can somebody show me where I can find the honey?

I'm starving!

Who's that in the window?

I don't know, but he sure is one good looking bear!

Mmmmm....

Bean burrito.

My favorite!

Whoa.

There may not have been any snow on the ground, but that was a pretty intense sled run. Miss C. is a speed machine!

It's not cold. There's no snow.

This isn't how I pictured my first sled ride.

Miss C. started a new collection today.

Leaves!

Stop laughing!

This isn't funny, Master W.

I should be at the dinner table right now, helping out with the salad or something. Not filling in for one of your teethers.

This is ridiculous.

Look out!

Gozilla is coming! Godzilla is coming!

We're doomed...

Yee haw!

This here's the wildest ladybug bronc I've ever ridden.

I'm gonna make it 8 seconds, I know it!

I will not stand for this!

I'm The Duck!

I do not wear owl pajamas.

I do not ride in doll strollers.

Take me back to Autzen. Right now!